I wish I could figure out what it is thats flawed in my personality or psyche that makes me do the fucked up things I do. What is wrong with me? There has to be a way to figure it out so I can KILL that part of me. I know it sounds terrible but sometimes I hate myself so much for the things I do. You know how Midas how the golden touch well I have a touch that seems to destroy friendships. I am the curse on my friendships.
SO many things in my life are going to shit and stressing me out lately and of course I managed to fuck up one of the only good things I had left. I guess I thought the depression and self destruction was subsiding but maybe I was wrong.
Maybe I'm over reacting but I honestly don't feel like I am. If the person that I wronged this weekend doesn't speak to me for a while it will absolutely tear me apart but I deserve it. Sad but true. All I can think right now is what the fuck is wrong with me? I can't believe myself.
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