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My computer screen at work. Representing! haha! Judge me all you want, I love it!

I loved BWalker before now I'm just plain in love with the man. No man will ever be good enough for me now.

This makes me a happy lady! Plus I figure out what I want to be for Halloween! Thrift shopping after work!

Guess who got a Snuggie! THIS GIRL!

Dear Lily

I love Lily Allen btw!

band in a box

Sherwood Show - Band in a Box


I’m not a huge fan of Sherwood but this is a rad promo video. Super funny! So true, kiddies!

"it started with the perfect kiss"

On Monday morning I got back from the cruise and after a long day of napping at B's house I headed to Hollywood. Got to see Kelly Clarkson perform. She's tiny and has an amazing voice.

Here's the performance that I saw.



And



Love her!

Let's Go!

NEW CARTEL!

Go check it out at www.myspace.com/cartel

November 14th Chain Reaction to support the new album "Cycles".

Super stoked about this!

Jimmy Fallon Parody - Robert/Edward v/s Daniel/Harry - Funny Rivalry

Red Tulips for Undying Love

It's so funny that just last year I didn't have the patience to read a whole book. I was always so flooded with emails and more emails that reading seemed like to much work. But thanks again to Stephenie Meyer I'm pretty much addicted to reading. Not to bad of a thing to be addicted to huh.

Well I just finished another two books from an awesome series called The Immortals series. It's written by a woman from here in OC. Her name is Alyson Noel and her books are great. Well at least I love them.

Check out Evermore (read twice) and Blue Moon (just released two days ago and I'm done).

Evermore Book Trailer



Blue Moon Book Trailer



ENJOY! I DID!

nat xo

How The Record Industry Committed Suicide

"The mass-marketing practices that the Record Industry adopted and mastered in correlation with file-sharing’s rise into predominance may have, in turn, created the ultimate paradox. Wherein the more the major labels focused on producing music that could be highly and quickly popularized, the more expecting fans perceived these artists negatively, perhaps, avoided buying their albums, and preceded to file-share their potentially ‘short-lived’ songs instead."

I want this!

I actually really like this fan video! http://ping.fm/h27Jw

At DJs...Rex is chillin on my lap! the boys are playing with their toys again.

My Birthday

So I'm being bugged about what I want for my birthday.

Here you go:

World Peace!
haha no,

but really....

I love giftcards! I am not offended by getting giftcards.

giftcards from:
-target
-barnes and noble
-old navy
-STARBUCKS!
-movie passes

I need/want
- gloves (not leather im allergic)
-scarfs
-vans
-cards are awesome!
-ipod adapter thing for my car
-books
-something fun and creative (write me or draw me something)
-your soul(hahaha kidding)
-black and white film
-new headphones(since I can only hear out of one side now haha)
-your love! hahaha

the outside

I LOVE TAYLOR SWIFT

These are the lyrics to:
The Outside

"I didn't know what I would find
When I went looking for a reason, I know
I didn't read between the lines
And, baby, I've got nowhere to go
I tried to take the road less traveled by
But nothing seems to work the first few times
Am I right?

[Chorus:]

So how can I ever try to be better?
Nobody ever lets me in
I can still see you, this ain't the best view
On the outside looking in
I've been a lot of lonely places
I've never been on the outside

You saw me there, but never knew
I would give it all up to be
A part of this, a part of you
And now it's all too late so you see
You could've helped if you had wanted to
But no one notices until it's too
Late to do anything

[Repeat Chorus]

So how can I ever try to be better?
Nobody ever lets me in
I can still see you, this ain't the best view
On the outside looking in
I've been a lot of lonely places
I've never been on the outside"

Such a great song. I love all her songs. <3

Brandon Ball!

So I had this idea about making a video instead of getting him a giant card but since I suck at follow through it was turned over to Mari. Here is Mari's masterpiece. Another video coming soon that Jamie and I made. hehe. Enjoy!!!

Learning To Breathe

I'm sitting here watching A Walk to Remember which by the way is one of my favorite movies and a great book. The movie came out in 2002 when I was still in high school. Crazy how all that seems so far away now. It makes me think about the past almost 7 years since I graduated.

That's a really long time if you think about it and what exactly have a accomplished since then. I started college and dropped out a couple years later. I've done a bunch of random jobs which I really liked doing because each one was like a new adventure and I met some of the most amazing people. Some people were just nice people that I may have one worked with once and moved on. Others will be in my heart forever. I got to work with music which was always my ultimate goal. I've got to work with some amazingly talented friends. I got to work for a label. Yup, that was actually a goal of mine to work for a record label and I guess I can check that one off my list right.

Not sure where this is going anymore but as I was writing this I googled quotes from A Walk to Remember and ended up finding an amazing poem by poet Sandra Sturtz. It is below:

“May you find serenity and tranquility
in a world you may not always understand.

May the pain you have known
and the conflict you have experienced
give you the strength to walk through life
facing each new situation with courage and optimism.

Always know that there are those
whose love and understanding will always be there,
even when you feel most alone.

May a kind word,
a reassuring touch,
and a warm smile
be yours every day of your life,
and may you give these gifts
as well as receive them.

May the teachings of those you admire
become part of you,
so that you may call upon them.

Remember, those whose lives you have touched
and who have touched yours
are always a part of you,
even if the encounters were less than you would have wished.
It is the content of the encounter
that is more important than its form.

May you not become too concerned with material matters,
but instead place immeasurable value
on the goodness in your heart.
Find time in each day to see beauty and love
in the world around you.

Realize that what you feel you lack in one regard
you may be more than compensated for in another.
What you feel you lack in the present
may become one of your strengths in the future.
May you see your future as one filled with promise and possibility.
Learn to view everything as a worthwhile experience.

May you find enough inner strength
to determine your own worth by yourself,
and not be dependent
on another's judgment of your accomplishments.

May you always feel loved.”


Aww the end of A Walk to Remember always and I mean always makes me cry.

Amazing!

xo



----------------
Now playing: Switchfoot - Learning to Breathe
via FoxyTunes

Maybe It's Just Me

It's so funny how I always think a lot when I'm in the shower. I've had way too much time to think about things lately and have come to the conclusion that I am a good person. I'm a good person who does bad things sometimes and I know everyone is human. We all make mistakes but I seem to make the stupidest mistakes that effect the most important people in my life.

There's probably a handful or so of people that are the most important in my life. These people I want as happy and healthy as they can be. I try my best to do what I can as a friend to help them succeed and fulfill their dreams. These people I feel like I sometimes hold very tightly and I have begun to believe that may be one of the reasons that these people that I never want hurt are the people I hurt the most.

I've also come to the conclusion that all I can do is my best. Sometimes my best isn't enough for some people. I have to take in to account other people views and opinions and live my life hurting the least amount of people as I can. All I can hope at this point is that the people that I have wronged can find it in their hearts to forgive me for the trespasses I've made again them. Hopefully I haven't damaged too much or destroyed the trust and love in our friendship.

I love all my friends very much.

xo




----------------
Now playing: Butch Walker - Maybe It's Just Me
via FoxyTunes

I'm an Asshole.

I wish I could figure out what it is thats flawed in my personality or psyche that makes me do the fucked up things I do. What is wrong with me? There has to be a way to figure it out so I can KILL that part of me. I know it sounds terrible but sometimes I hate myself so much for the things I do. You know how Midas how the golden touch well I have a touch that seems to destroy friendships. I am the curse on my friendships.

SO many things in my life are going to shit and stressing me out lately and of course I managed to fuck up one of the only good things I had left. I guess I thought the depression and self destruction was subsiding but maybe I was wrong.

Maybe I'm over reacting but I honestly don't feel like I am. If the person that I wronged this weekend doesn't speak to me for a while it will absolutely tear me apart but I deserve it. Sad but true. All I can think right now is what the fuck is wrong with me? I can't believe myself.

Valentines Day!

So it's that day again. The day that people around the world celebrate Valentines Day as if it were a real holiday. I know people will generally just think that I'm bitter because I'm single but that's not the case at all. Think about it... Christmas is a holiday that you celebrate the birth of Jesus and although Jesus and I aren't really down with each other it still has a legit backing to it.

Goodbye Friendship, Hello Heartache

I think its kind of funny how some people insist that they don't like their life put on blast but they consistently put it on blast themselves then try and deflect off themselves by accusing everyone else of talking shit about them. Now wouldn't you think that if they really wanted their personal lives personal then they wouldn't be using online social networking sites to reveal details of their lives that people would otherwise have no idea about.

You have to wonder how empty these people are to feel like they need their lifestyle and behavior validated by strangers on the internet. Does it really make you feel like a better person to have a random stranger tell you you are? Does it make you feel like better to treat the ones that love you with anger and spite?

Its really sad when you realize you're losing faith in someone that you love.

I know everyone is human and have flaws but some things are hard to forgive.

Fighting

I was thinking about fighting today. When I say fighting I mean fighting for things not necessary violent fighting. As long as I can remember I have fought for my family and friends. I've fought for music because music has saved my life more times that I can count. I've fought for the things I believe to be right and for the people that I love but now at almost 25 I have finally come to the realization that I have rarely fought for me.

I've never really fought to do the things I truly want to do.

So now that its 2009 and I can leave 2008's experiences behind me I'm going to do my best to fight for me this year.

Things have to change this year. I'm too bored with myself and life not to.

More coming soon.

Love you.